Funny Blood Presents: Magic Sunglasses

Digg it! Stumble It! FacebookMyspace

Sam Rockney’s Police Blotter #2

October 15th – County Route 32.
A call came in over the radio reporting a bunch of kids throwing eggs at cars. I tracked down the little assholes and identified the alpha male. I knocked out all his teeth and made him give my exhaust pipe a suck job while I beat his best friend to death.

October 22nd – Fairbanks Ave.
Caught a bum smoking crack in an alley.  I bit him on the neck then took him to my basement and chained him up, see?  I told him if he wants to quit doing crack he can follow Sam Rockney’s 5 step plan.

Sam Rockney’s 5-Step Plan:

1. Eat shit
2. Suck a dick
3. Fuck off
4. Burn in hell
5. Get the fuck outta my face

November 15th – 455 Mulberry St.
Purrrr… responded to a 9-11 call about a kidnapping over on Mulberry.  Took one look at the family and I knew the score.  Meow, see, they must’ve knocked the kid off, to get rid of him.  I held the mother down and made the father watch while I licked the skin off her cheek with my papery tongue.  MEOW SEE, MEOW!  The dad started to talk.  He sang like a bird.  Told me everything.  I glued his fingers together so he had flippers, and put him in a kiln.  I went back to the mother, took a picture of her feet, and put it on the internet.

November 20th – University of Champlain
Caught wind of a research scientist performing some sicko experiments on animals.  Decided to snoop around his laboratory.  Sure enough there he was, sticking cats and dogs full of needles.  So I performed an experiment of my own, see?  I gouged out his eyes with a pen.

Digg it! Stumble It! FacebookMyspace

Funny Blood Presents: Cody

Digg it! Stumble It! FacebookMyspace

Funny Blood Presents: The Smell

Digg it! Stumble It! FacebookMyspace

“Taxi Cab Confessions” starring Buns Buggy

Digg it! Stumble It! FacebookMyspace

Ninja the Teddy Boy

Ninja the Teddy Boy

by Caleb Mason

*****Once there was a Ninja and his name was Teddy Boy. He was a very good Ninja warrior. One day he went for a walk and saw enemy Ninjas attacking his friends, Ira and Mike. Ira and Mike bopped the Ninja enemy and then they went back to his hide out. He saw his puppy broke and then he saw that a rock was on their Sensa, so Teddy Boy and Ira and Mike got it off.

Digg it! Stumble It! FacebookMyspace

NEW RS COMMUNICATOR SONG!

“It Takes A Man To Be A Dad” from the forthcoming album, Have You Ever Jerked Off In Your Parents’ Bedroom?

Digg it! Stumble It! FacebookMyspace